Welcome to day 4 in transforming our relationships with the sandpaper people in our lives. We need to change our perspective to a godly one, forgive, love and accept the sandpaper people in our lives and we need to change. Remember the sandpaper people aren’t in your life because they need you to change them, they are there because YOU need to change. God has a work He wants to do in you.

There are very few things we have control over in our lives, but we have absolute control over ourselves, what we say and how we act. We cannot control what others say to us or how they treat us, but we can control how we respond.

In relationships people get into a type of dance where one person does something and the other person responds accordingly and the pattern repeats itself with the two moving together and in response to one another. With the sandpaper people they say something that pushes our buttons and we respond, usually in an irritated fashion or a passive aggressive one similar to a teenager rolling their eyes. We need to break out of the normal dance and change the way we react when our buttons are pushed or our feelings are hurt.

If you change the way you respond, their reaction might just change as well. It isn’t possible for one dance partner to drastically change their movements without the other’s movements changing as well. It might not be immediate, but over time, the dance will be different.

Genesis 9:17, 26 

As soon as they had brought them out, one of them said, “Flee for your lives! Don’t look back, and don’t stop anywhere in the plain!Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away!”

But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.

 Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. If we spend our time looking back at what the sandpaper people in our lives have done to us or how they have treated us, we will never be able to move forward. We won’t turn into a pillar of salt, but we will be stuck in the same old dance.

Change of any kind is hard, but necessary. We can’t control the way others treat us, but we can control the way we respond. Change the way you react and respond to the sandpaper people in your life. Allow God’s Holy Spirit to empower you to be different and to bear the fruit of His Spirit in your relationships – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness and last but not least, self-control!

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9 thoughts on “Change

  1. Sandy Tomme

    Change is never easy, but thank you for reminding us that until we make the effort to change ourselves the same “dance” will continue.

    • You are so right, Sandy. Change isn’t easy, but is necessary if we want to transform our relationshipsnn

  2. Love, love, love this! I love the term sandpaper people! How fitting! I’m definitely going to be praying about how I let those sandpaper people influence my reactions! Great post!

    • Thanks! I am blessed to know it is making people think and challenging them to change their reactions to transform their relationships.

  3. So true! Sandpaper people are always going to be present, which I think is a good thing because they can help make us better people…If we keep our eyes and spirit open for the lesson and instruction! Love the post!

    • Exactly! It is all about keeping our focus On the Lord regardless of what we are dealing with in our lives because He is the true source of help and hope.

      • Amen to that! I wish everyone knew how it felt to have that source of help and hope! He is truly the free gift that you can’t make people take!! Pray! Pray! Pray! God bless you Shelly! You are doing great work!!

  4. This is so true! I wrote once about how the ACTion of another doesn’t have to produce a bad ReACTion in us. “Never let others define who you are.” That is what I have told my daughter all of her life. It makes all the difference in peace.

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