Choosing Not to be Offended

I am doing a Bible study by Joanna Weaver called “Having a Mary Spirit”. In it she shares something she learned from her husband, “I’m learning I don’t have to be offended. It’s my choice. It’s what i do with what happens to me.” That was a revolutionary statement for me. I can CHOOSE not to be offended.

It had never occurred to me that being offended by something someone says or does to me is my choice. Boy, is that empowering. It is easy for us to be offended or hurt by something some says or does, but ultimately we choose whether or not we will allow ourselves to be offended or hurt. Rather than reacting, we can take our feelings to the Lord and not lash out at others.

The only thing we have control over is ourselves. As much as we would like to have control over others, we don’t. We can’t control what others say to us or how they treat us, BUT we can control how we respond. We are always accountable for our words and actions. Through the power of God’s Holy Spirit dwelling within us, we can choose to bear the fruit of His Spirit rather than the fruit of our own natural reactions. This means that regardless of what someone says or does to us, we CHOOSE to allow His Spirit to work in us so we can respond with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control. 

It sounds too good to be true, but isn’t that they way of God? He sent His Son to save us and provide us with forgiveness for our sins, something that sounds way too good to be true, but that his how it is with God’s grace. He not only lavishes us with His grace but He empowers us to do the same to others – that is how people will see Christ in us.

I know it is easy to be offended by others because as people, we are imperfect, flawed and full of faults which causes us to treat people less than kindly. However, we aren’t going through this life alone, we are going through it with Christ’s Spirit living within us. CHOOSE for yourself today NOT to be offended but to respond with grace and love.

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13 thoughts on “Choosing Not to be Offended

  1. Very enlightening! Thank you

    • Beaconapologetics, thanks! I wish I came up with the concept myself, but am so glad Joanna Weaver shared it. It really is transformational to realize that we choose to be offended. We often think of what has been done to us, but ultimately we choose the impact it has and how we respond.

  2. Nelda

    Amen! There is true freedom in forgiving others and there is true life in allowing the Holy Spirit to empower us to look to Jesus for our happiness. “In the world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) As we abide in Him and He abides in us, we can be at peace and find happiness.
    Good lesson, Shelly, my friend.

    • Nelda, thanks for the Scripture and the wonderful comment. It is very comforting to know that the Lord has overcome the world and we can overcome it too with His help. Our peace and happiness is found in Christ alone. Blessings, friend!

  3. This is good! That will be a wonderful place in life when I can get there 🙂

    • Reaching4hishem, I am certainly not “there” yet, but I am now more conscious of the fact that allowing myself to be offended is a choice. With His help, hopefully I will choose not to be offended so my words and actions are more like His.

  4. Great Word and an awesome insight from flesh actions to The Holy Spirit responses!!! Several years ago I was praying about something that was said to me, that really hurt and the Lord said this to me “You know when an old barbed wire fence has been broken down and then run over and left for a long time and it gets buried in the dirt? When you go to remove it with your hands only, it will tear you up, literally, it will pierce through your skin and mangle you. Oh, the fence, as in ouch that really hurts! Oh! Offence, it really hurts! You can choose to leave it alone and not pick it up, what do you want to do? Do you want to act quickly in reaction to what was said, or do you want to wait and respond to ME and let me handle it, this is your choice? Isn’t HE wonderful!!!
    Blessing on you and your ministry!!!:o)

  5. I was just given this book last week, but haven’t started yet. After reding your blog I think it’s a must read!

    • Krazysurfignkat, we are almost finished with the book and I have really enjoyed the study. It is something you can do with a group our own your own. Joanna Weaver does a great job of really making you think about living in the Spirit versus living in the flesh. Blessings to you as you read it!

  6. Jo

    Beautifully said Shelly. Jesus said that at times his followers will be hated. When we are unjustly hated let’s endeavour to discipline ourselves, so that if we do become offended the time that we are offended doesn’t stretch to our 99th year should we live that long! Truly we can choose In Lord Jesus Christ’s love to forgive those who offend us!

    • Jo, thanks! We will be hated because we don’t operate the way the world operates and we don’t think the way the world thinks. Hopefully we can all choose to not be offended so others can see Christ in us.

  7. Oh, I like that way of looking at things! I will keep that in mind, so thank you. Also, thank you for visiting my blog and leaving such kind words.

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